Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
I brake for no apparent reason.
Forget about World Peace...visualize using your turn signal.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
The IRS: They've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill.
Very funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?